We Brits don't like to boast - if you feel the need to show off then you probably aren't that great. I guess its a class thing? If you go overboard in describing how incredible breakfast was in your hotel then you probably aren't used to nice breakfasts and nice hotels, so best have a bit of a winge so that everyone knows that this was just "ok". Boasting is tacky. I guess this is where our self deprecating humour comes from. When asked what my job in fundraising involves it is much easier to suggest that the hours of research, strategy and hard work actually just boils down to a push-up bra and a
cheeky wink, because there are few things more tedious
than hearing someone earnestly go on and on about how hard they work and how clever they are. Yawn. Add to this the desire not to make a fuss and draw attention to oneself - heaven forbid we send anything back to the kitchen, even if your steak is so overdone that it has the consistency of a charcoal broquette. Its an unspoken understanding between Brits. Everything is tickety-boo.
Take, for example the routine morning platitude "How was your weekend?" In the grim London light of a potentially hungover Monday morning you will most likely get a shrugged "It was ok". You can then follow it up with a half-hearted "Did you get up to anything fun?", the implication being that a) your weekend was probably mostly shit and tedious (Did you get up to anything fun?) and b) I don't actually care, just give me the main highlight. This will probably be followed by a squinted "errrrrrrrrr" and then maybe "Went to the pub on Friday, which was cool. Had a roast with the folks on Sunday. Thats it really." Excellent. We have exchanged the obligatory Monday morning platitudes and can now get on with the week safe in the knowledge that no-one had an excessively fun weekend. The dick that gushes about how "cer-azy" their partying session was and how they "don't even remember Saturday night" gets avoided next Monday.
On the flipside the American response would be "Great! How was yours?", "Great!" Done. Neither of us cares what happened to the other at the weekend, but it was important that our colleague understood that our weekend was great. Not good, or ok, but great. With an exclamation mark and a toothy grin. It is important that they know that your life is good, and you did not spend the weekend arguing with your spouse about whether to buy a new TV.
And here's where the misinterpretation starts. When an American says their weekend was "great" they don't mean that they partied with Obamas on their private yacht, flew to Disneyland and discovered a cure for Cancer. What they actually mean is "It was ok", but using the word "ok" would suggests that is was less than perfect, so they substitute "ok" with "great". With this in mind, if you respond with anything other than "Great!" then you are clearly desperate to share more details and your colleague will feel obliged to ask "Oh no? Only ok? What happened?" This will then lead to a boring 5 minutes where you wrack your British brain in order to detail your last tedious 48 hours of grocery shopping, making spaghetti bolognese and feeding the cat in order to satisfy your American colleague, and they will be wondering why you are still talking if you didn't have an interesting anecdote about your weekend. You are sad because your weekend sounds immensely crap compared to their "Great!" one, and they are sad because your life sounds just awful.
So, in summary, when a colleague asks you how your weekend was, they don't actually care. Also, Americans are ever the optimists and the natural British position is one of mild disappointment. Its that mild disappointment with people and things that bonds us. How else are you supposed to make friends if not by bitching about the weather/shared colleagues/a slag on reality TV/the crap food in the pub etc? In the UK no-one likes a show-off, everyone likes the underdog. In America false modesty will get you nowhere, and everyone is rooting for the muscular, white-toothed guy with the fast car and the sexy wink.
No comments:
Post a Comment