Being thick and thick kinda takes the fun out of banter

As/when you find someone who enjoys a bit of banter you'll want to make sure you hit them where it hurts (in a loving way) and get your taunts right. While indulging in some friendly banter recently I discovered a few terms that mean something completely different in the US which meant that the loving insult I was hurling completely missed the mark.

We all know about "fanny" (hmm - "we all know about fanny" sounds familiar - isn't that the porn version of "We need to talk about Kevin"?), but I rarely use the word in polite banter, so its not really an issue.

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The word "thick" however is an entirely different kettle of fish. Describing a big-boned lass as "thick"
because she is temporarily behaving a bit dumb DOES NOT GO DOWN WELL. Thats because "thick" is popularly used to describe a bigger-framed/more womanly figure. Judgements aside (I have no preference - thick or thin, its the brains that counts. Sorry, did I say brains? I meant tits) it did make for an awkward laugh, tinged with surprise and hurt, as my bant-ee thought I was, apropos of nothing, commenting on the size of her arse. That would be uncharacteristically mean and totally out of context. I was instead commenting on her intellectual capacity, or lack thereof. Which, being as she's thick, she probably wouldn't have been offended by anyway. Its just unfortunate that she's also thick. You see my problem.

I will in future stick with "douchebag" and "knobhead" - the former because it is locally understood. The latter because it is funny.

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