Travel winge 9

So, after a couple of months in Europe visiting family and friends and having my washing done for me (thanks Dad!) and being generally pampered I am now back in the US after a monster of a flight combo. I am tired from the travel, jetlagged and generally a bit ratty, and even the slightest thing is pissing me off.

Philly airport terminal really did cheer me up (nice shops, pretty good food selection), but I do have a few little things that, if everyone could take note, would make my travel much more pleasant. Are you listening, fat woman on scooter who stank of piss? And you, oblivious twat who trod on my be-sock-ed toes? And you, squawking group of east coast hags??

Queuing twats.

1. We ALL want to get on the fart tube as quickly as possible, and the best way to do that is to sit the fuck down and wait til the lady calls your seat number. Until then, don't crowd round the gate like they're giving away free donuts. They're not. I know you want to make sure that there is space for your laughably vast cabin bag, but, here's an idea, take a smaller fucking bag!

2. Man who trod fully on all my socky toes while I sat on the floor against the wall charging my phone: you are a dick. How can you be completely oblivious to an entire (fairly tall) human, squishing herself against a wall with her bag so as not to be in the way? You trod on me like you genuinely didn't see me, and then looked back a few seconds later and appeared genuinely surprised to see me. Dick.

Yoga twat.

3. Why are you doing yoga in a main thoroughfare at the airport. Surely the man who approached you and asked if you were ok while you spazzed out trying to get your ankle over your head should have been a clue that this is not a normal thing to do in an airport. Stop it.

4. And the biggest winge: US Airways - how come I paid you to get me and my luggage from LHR to SFO and it appears that I am doing half the work? Hmm? I had to pickup all 3 fucking huge cases (that I paid extra for, might I add) at Philly airport and lug them, sans trolly, past your fat ground staff to then place them on another conveyor belt and wave them off to SF?? What exactly have I paid for? I want approx $47.52 of my money back, please. Besides, your chubby airport staff could do with a good workout. Just sayin'.

All of that aside, Philly airport was rather nice - they had the same rocking chairs as Dallas, which is a nice touch (although they could do with a few more), plenty of places to charge me gadge and mini exercise bikes for you to get a workout in before you board your next flight. They were like little unicycles on stands. Nice idea.

The wifi was down for most of my time there, which was disappointing, although searching for another network I did notice that I was travelling with a local political celeb. Nice.