Still being punished for being British...

My morning routine starts with getting up with the lad and getting a hot beverage on the go. Some days it'll be a pot of coffee in a cafetiere, some days it'll be a mug of tea. 

Yes, TEA. It turns out that it is/was a symbol of the British oppressors (the King and Queen drank it and John Adams declared it a 'traitor's drink' post war). Thats probably less of a 'thing' now - maybe after year's of 'aggressively seasoned' food the gentle flavor doesn't punch the remaining American tastebud up the bracket. 

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/coffee.gif

Whatever - Americans' don't enjoy tea in the same religious way that Brits do. Back in the office in London we were making tea rounds 5 or 6 times a day (minimum). (Well, as my colleagues will tell you, I wasn't making these rounds. My tea was apparently shit. Hey, if you want not-shit tea, go make it yourself! Oh, you are. Why, yes please, I'd love a cup. No, I don't give a flying fuck whether the milk goes in first. And yes, I do still want 3 spoons of sugar in my enormous mug). 

So, I'm not a tea connoisseur, obviously, but I do like a nice mug of Lady Grey, and the lad likes a nice strong Tetley. Aside from the obvious issue of trying to source familiar teabags in the US, there are the peripheral issues. Sure, the US loves its coffee, but that generally comes out of a Nespresso machine, or out of a professional barista's trendily tattooed hands, so the functional white plastic kettle simply isn't a 'thing' here. The voracity with which Brits consume hot tea and granulated coffee is obscene, and we do so at our desks at work, so we need a little plastic device to heat water up in a tiny 'kitchenette' on our floor. There is no space for a hob and a whistling kettle - the impracticality is laughable! 

At home, however, I am busily following Polly's example and putting the kettle on (literally). 

Additionally, if you are consuming a double shot expressacino with whipped foam and caramel on top you DO NOT want to dip your giant doughy cookie in it. No need - its already a delicious beverage and a snack all in one. Convenient 

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/bill-murray-drinks-coffee.gif

If, however, you are drinking milky water you DO need a dry biscuit to dunk in it and bring a little joy to the 11am tea round. And that brings me to the second peripheral issue. No tea means no dunkable biscuits. Try and find a Digestive, a Hobnob or a Nice biscuit and you will come a cropper. Try and find a chewy, doughy 'cookie' with chocolate ganache inside that is ENTIRELY inappropriate for dunking and you will be inundated with options. (That said - don't get excited by these delicious looking cookie mountains. They are often plastic and flavorless. They look like they are going to be epic and are sooooooo disappointing). In fairness, I am not a fan of Maryland cookies - they leave a weird film in my mouth, and the chocolate is average. Give me a Hobnob anyday. * 

The closest I've found is the Oreo, but if you deviate from the black or white oreos (watermelon, anyone? Birthday cake?) they get a bit too sweet and a bit too plastic. 

So, my morning routine (putting a whistling kettle on the hob and experimenting with a freaky flavored dunking tool) is a little odd, compared to what I'm used to. I guess there should be some repercussions to drinking the traitor's drink, but being forced to endure a poor excuse for a dunking biscuit is surely an excessive punishment.

* For a stunning graphical representation of dunking check this out, from Green Hat creative design company in the UK.