A Brit guide to turkey day

If you get pissy when M&S start selling their Chrimbo toot in October then you'll go mental in the US. They have a whole holiday season here that starts with Halloween (which Brits do not consider to be a valid holiday) and goes all the way through to Chrimbo. Thats a full 3 months of pumpkin-spiced holiday spirit, which the old man is finding it hard to sustain.

That aside, its worth noting that the holiday hierarchy is a bit different here. As we've established, Halloween isn't even a thing in the UK, so that scores a zero, while Chrimbo is right up at the top. Its better than Easter - all the chocolate of the spring festival, plus shitty weather that forces us to stay indoors and eat our own weight in Quality Street guilt-free. It would appear that in the US, the home of religious freedom, Chrimbo is trumped by an even bigger 'do'. Thanksgiving seems to be the Autumn holiday when everyone visits family and is thankful that they live in a really rich and privileged country. As Russell Brand recently described it it commemorates the day when Ariana Grande traveled all the way from Boston and strangled a turkey. And then there were some Indians. 

I get the feeling that, like 4th July, you have to be an actual American to really appreciate the magnitude of this holiday. A full-on "back-to-back world war champions" kinda guy, who understands and appreciates the freedom that living in this country gives you. 

My tone may be little mocking, but actually its a thoroughly bloody nice day. In the two years that the old man and I have been here we've had welcoming invitations to Thanksgiving meals. Which is genuinely lovely, and, actually, reflects just how sweet people here have been. So, although I don't really understand the 'real' meaning of the holiday I am thankful for the lovely people we've met here. 

With that in mind I didn't want us to look like the crap provincial rednecks who turn up to the embassy ball with a six pack of beers and denim short-shorts, so I did a bit of research beforehand to suss out the protocol.

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So, what are you supposed to do at Thanksgiving? Well, it would appear that eating a big Christmas-esque meal, drinking booze and watching football on the telly are the key things to do. Lots of people visit family in other states, so transport before and after is MAYHEM. The shops aren't open, along with most other things - while Christmas and hanukkah and Kwanza are all celebrated by specific cultural groups Thanksgiving allies to everyone, so there are no groups of people willing to work over that period. Except, I'm sure there are people who don't care about it and would be happy to get time and a half, but the altruistic nature of some of the big stores forces everyone to be at home arguing with their relatives, which is lovely.

Seeing as its so much like a British Chrimbo I was wondering about presents? But, no, no expectation to exchange gifts or cards. And I'm not sure about extra tips (in the UK some people tip the milkman and the bin men at Chrimbo) so I didn't do it. I did think about it though, and I think thats actually worth more than cold hard cash. I hope my warm thoughts and tight wallet keep you warm at night, garbage men of NorCal.

On the plus side, though, if you're not at work you get to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, which is jolly. I'm sure its a lot of fun if you're there, but the TV coverage was basically one huge advert for new TV shows, Broadway shows and new albums. "Here with me now is Michael Buble. Michael, how are you? What have you been up to?" "Well, Matt, I've been working hard on my new album which is out now, so I'm happy to take a break today to watch this fabulous parade" "Great, can we hear one of your new tracks?" "Sure! **breaks into tedious warbles**". Meh.

I'm not sure whether you're supposed to dress up for Thanksgiving dinner, because a lot of people will be in full football mode, so my sparkly dress would look a bit excessive, so we went for smart casual (festive top and trousers) while others went with pretty dresses and smart shirts. Its kinda like Chrimbo in that sense - make a bit of an effort to look nice, but don't go Chrimbo-party crazy.

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We also made sure to ask what we should bring. This is important - you don't want to turn up with something shite, but you also don't want to turn up empty-handed - thats just rude. Equally, though, the person cooking the meal will probably have put in a huge amount of effort in timings and planning (don't underestimate that - its a fucking feat and a half, and our incredible hosts gracious played down how much effort they had gone to in producing a triple-meat feast with posh cheese and charcuterie and wine and **drowns in own drool**) so if you turn up with a duplicate dish or something that just won't go thats also pretty crappy. So we brought dessert and I practiced and practiced to make sure I got it right on the night. We went super-British (trifle) because I'd hate to bring a sub-par pumpkin pie. Also, whats not to like about jelly (wobbly sugar), custard (cream and vanilla and sugar) and cream (cream).

So, in summary, your invitation to a Thanksgiving meal means ALOT and totally represents the sentiment of this particular holiday, so be thoughtful, dress nice, ask what you can bring and don't expect to be able to buy custard powder on Thanksgiving morning.