Cheesecake, cheesecake, its the cheesecake shuffle...*

Its true - you do need a car in the US. Public transport is OK, but its just not comparable to the awesomeness of London, so, having decided on a car and strolled into the showroom to discuss payment options ("maybe these kindly souls will look upon a poor Brit and give her credit or a loan? Poor Limey's a-cold"**) only to be told that before we drive the car off the forecourt we need insurance.

Fair enough. Makes sense. Why should Ford supply us with insurance - as soon as the car leaves the forecourt they could give a flying fuck about it or us. It was still a bit weird sourcing insurance for a car we don't yet own.

Anyhoo. Should be easy enough. In the UK you go online to a comparison website, put in your details, choose the best option and buy it online there and then. Done.

Not so. We tried looking for a meerkat-staffed comparison site and found one. Yup, one. We have them coming out of our arses in the UK. (I appreciate I might be misunderstanding, or looking in the wrong places, but it should be easy, so if I have missed a whole swathe of these sites that are as good as the ones in the UK then their marketing people should be rounded up and shot).

First big surprise - good luck finding  coverage if you don't yet have a local license. The comparison site I found was able to find no quotes for me. They wouldn't touch me with a barge pole.

Next step - went straight to source and got online quotes from all the biggies. These bastards advertise on the TV constantly, so I know all the big names and there was a small part of me that REALLY wanted to go with the one owned by that cockney gecko. I feel a special bond with him - he must have really struggled when he first came over here - British and a gecko? He must have found it hard to get a job, a driving license (how long do geckos live? Is he even old enough to drive?). So, after inputting my information a million times came up with an adequate quote (BTW - the websites don't save your quotes automatically - so if you don't manually save it you won't be able to find your quote again when you log in. Are we living in the fucking dark ages? It gets worse...)

Success! So, now I just need to pay for it online with my debit card. Thats how we do it in the UK. I just need to find where I can pay and put my details in. Seriously, I have to go pick up the car in an hour. Where is the big 'Buy now' box?...

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Surprise!! There is none. Instead I need to call a local agent? WHAT?!? I've got more important things to do with my afternoon than going through the same information with a middle man who lives round the corner from me and still has to contact the underwriter to confirm it all before I can get coverage! I don't need a new chum, I need a computer to decide what risk I pose and give me a cost based on an equation.

(On a side note I have since seen adverts for e-surance which seems to be more akin to how we do this shizzle in the UK, but who knows. Most of the adverts actually PRIDE themselves on having local reps?? State Farm reps actually teleport to the scene of the crash to tell you that you are covered!! Well, that's what the ad suggests anyway. Lets see how fucking friendly they are when I actually have to claim. I'm pretty sure they'll do their utmost to worm out of giving me any cash due to a technicality. I don't need someone local to do that - I am happy for someone in a distant call centre to disappoint me remotely.)

A few phone calls, an unsuccessful attempt to find a fax machine and scanning and emailing all the important documents we have we finally have some fucking car insurance. ALREADY??

Thankfully picking up the car was easier, although its worth noting that California car-buying law means that you don't get a cooling off period, so if you want to cancel your contract after thinking about it for an hour or so, you can't. That probably sounds pretty obvious to an American, but to a Brit thats a slightly scary concept.

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*Yeah, I know its Cheese Steak. Cheesecake is funnier though, m'kay?
**Shakespeare reference, innit? I'm pretty sure that poor Tom in King Lear was waiting at the us stop in the storm and was dreaming of buying a car so he didn't have to get the bus anymore. Don't bother looking it up. I'm definitely right. I come from the land of Shakespeare. I know this shit.