Smug British scoff of the day

Thank goodness I was on my own in the car when I had my little smug scoff earlier. The chap on NPR (publicly funded American Radio 4 with adverts and less radio drama) announced that the successful stage production "One man, two guvnors" was coming to the Bay Area. Having never actually seen the production I am assuming that, due to the spelling of "guvnors", it is referencing a "guvnor" as in "boss"? Non? And the pronunciation is fairly important - a "guvnor" is different to a "governor", who is someone who presides over California or a school. The dude on the radio clearly wasn't aware of that distinction, as he announced "One man, two governors", starring, presumably, Arnold Schwarzenneger in one of the governator roles? You can, presumably, hear the sarcasm in my tone? Yeah - that. Completely unnecessary and totally unfair. I am a dick.

It did get me thinking, though, about all the little colloquial ways we refer to each other in the UK that impart a HUGE amount of meaning, more so that the cutesy turns of phrase in the US (Whats up, buttercup?):

"Alright, guv" is a cheery colloquial greeting imbued with deference to a more senior individual - the verbal equivalent of doffing one's hat.

"Alright, me old cocker" is something you might hear in an old man pub between two older working class chaps.

"Listen, sunshine" - similar to "sonny jim", this would be used by an older or more senior person to a younger man. There is a slight implication that the younger man is a bit of a scamp - there's a certain ring of discipline about it, like a policeman talking to a naughty school boy.

"Whatcha, cock" - my personal favorite - like "me old cocker" you'd most likely hear two older guys exchange this greeting. See also the hilarious Carry On style gag that include the line "have you got the time on yer, cock?"

Seriously, the more I have to explain the logic behind some of this British stuff the more I realize that it is all hilariously nonsensical. Its no wonder the world thinks we're all eccentric nutcases.

http://giphy.com/gifs/british-oh-yeah-yes-please-120RNLNDW7HMxG