Like drop-kicking a corgi

I had a slightly embarrassing attack of the brits* today. It wasn't as severe as when I ask "what teas" they have in a restaurant and then grimace when they don't list Lady Grey, but it is recurrent. And it makes it so much more uncomfortable when it happens in public you have to hold it in. 

I am referring to the standard niceties that I thought EVERYONE was taught as a kid: when someone says "thank you", you counter with "you're welcome". Or "de nada" in Spanish. Or "Kochirakoso arrogate gozaimasu" in Japanese. Or "afwan" in Arabic.  Its as natural as breathing out after breathing in, but apparently some people in my locality have been dragged up by baboons and respond with "uh-huh". "UH-HUH"??? What the fuck is that??? I have to bite my tongue so hard every time someone does that - it's so unnacceptable. And it makes me feel so alien and so far away from the UK. I have NEVER heard this back home. Every time that happens its like someone has literally punched the Queen in the hooter, taken a shit in Hugh Grant's cucumber sandwiches, filled the Prime Minister's teapot with kool-aid and flushed Harry Potter's head down the toilet. I never thought I could get so offended by a simple lack of manners, but it really does grind my gears every. Single. Time. And it is at that point that I feel more British than I have ever felt in my life. 

So, if you don't want to feel the immensity of my British wrath (heavy tutting and possibly an eye roll) repeat after me: "you are welcome". You can thank me later. (You're welcome).

*To prove my point, this is a poop joke. And you can't get much more British than a poop joke.