How not to look like a tight git

I don't want to look like one of those losers who can't wipe their ares without an iPhone app, but I am, so its hard.

Maths isn't my strong point and the tipping culture in the States (aside form being fundamentally ridiculous - if the tag says $50, why have I just paid $56. I know you want to be able to fluctuate the rate according to the economic status of the country, but, no-one has a clue how much their paying til they get to the checkout?!) was a challenge, especially with all the urban legends of waiters chasing tightwad tourists down the road.

So, my tip-calclator app was spot on. I think 17% may have been a little generous (even though thats what the bloggers said) but 'Mandy' said that I'd 'seen her and her daughter right', so I've done my bit for the American economy. You're welcome.

Travel winge 5

Today I am annoyed by - being followed round a shop

Whether its the quiet suspicion of the security guards in Kuala Lumpur airport or the desperate animatedness of the 'sales hosts' in the States I am not used to being tracked as I shop. I can feel pretty self-conscious as it is without someone monitoring my every move. SOD OFF. I am not going to steal/buy any of your crap (respectively) so you can go and track that old lady over there. I think she put something in her sholly and is shuffling towards the exit.

Travel winge 4

Massive check-in queues, part 2

I generally get it in shops, admittedly, but I've recently had it 3 times at airports. It drives me crazy when someone who's serving you doesn't stop their conversation and make eye-contact (not in the creepy, 'you like robot-wars', way the bint in Costa looks at me - if she didnt look so vacuous I'd think she was taking the p*ss). The last 2 times it's been in a stationary shop at Gatwick (she couldn't even be arsed to tell me how much my copy of Glamour and bag of snack-a-jacks was going to cost me) and, even worse, at a transit desk! Not like its stressful enough entrusting the safe passage of both my luggage and (more importanty) my personage to this fudge-head, but in the midst of a chaotic smear of people at the transit desk he spots his chum from flight school and hops out from behind the desk to give him a hug! Pay attention! When you're on the phone to your bank they don't pause mid-transaction to make a cup of tea for their pregnant colleague who's just popped in from maternity leave to say hi to the old crowd? Actually, maybe they do - maybe thats what they're doing when they ask you to hold while they check something on their system and play an acoustic version of 'Hello' by Lionel Ritchie down the phone. Dammit.

Travel winge 3

So today I am annoyed by - massive check-in queues

Seriously though; you do this everyday, right? This is your job - to get people on a plane? And yet it seems like this massive wad of people in front of you is a surprise? It drives me crazy when check-in staff can't prioritise passenger check-in according to  who's taking off first. It usually ends in a single member of staff wandering down the line asking, 'Amsterdam? Anyone for Amsterdam?' 10 minutes before the flight's due to leave! I guess thats why the big airlines have separate checkin desks for each destination - genius. As the boyf suggested to an airline accounts department recently 'why dont you have a look at how BA do it - it'll give you something to aim for.'